Seven small and smaller towns constitute what we call the mountaintop, and Maureen Heffernan-Rich lives on a seriously back road west of one of them. I live seventeen miles away in a hamlet of a village of a town, so the only time I see her is when I bring my dog to board or be groomed. Maureen owns Siam Kennels and has boarded three generations of our family's canines: Hank, Mike, and, now, Bliss (Guess which one my daughter named?) Maureen could be mistaken for a drill sergeant if she doesn't like you with a stare that could weaken a smackdown bully, but, if she does like you, she presents a big hearted side and an off the wall sense of humor. Dog spoken here. The other day I took Bliss over there for a toenail clipping. I could have done it myself, but Maureen's fun to talk to, and I don't know anyone else like her, so I drove over. That day Maureen was ecstatic. She had finally figured out a way to make her fortune. A small test available to any married couple should do it. She intended to sell it mail order. That's what she said. Check it out.
HOW TO TELL WHO LOVES YOU MORE: YOUR WIFE OR YOUR DOG.
Lock your wife and your dog in the trunk of your car; wait one hour; let them out; now see which one is happy to see you.
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