True Hollywood Adventures - #1 - My First Big Time Hubba Hubba Hollywood Script Meeting

                            MY VERY FIRST BIG TIME HUBBA HUBBA                                                                                             HOLLYWOOD SCRIPT MEETING 

Universal Offices – Park Avenue - New York City – Fall - 1974.

I wore a blue suit. Do not ask me why as my normal uniform those days (and these days) was and had been for years Levi’s and some kind of sturdy shirt, flannel, cotton, no big deal. Yet, a blue suit, my only suit, one I have absolutely no memory of wearing anywhere except this once! Again, do not ask me why. Clearer minds than mine can figure that one out. Or not.

Some history here. Same semester, same month, I was offered tenure at University of Connecticut and a three picture deal from Universal Studios. More on how this came about at a later date. Anyway, I ditched security for the rest of my life, turned down tenure, took my ticket, and banked my freelancer hopes on Hollywood, although, truth is, movies had never been a passion of mine. Words, yes. Movies? Fun. Yeah. Date stuff. Great. But, words! Until I saw "The Wild Bunch". Like I said, more later.

OK. I'm in my shabby NYC first digs when the phone rings and I'm told to please hold for Jennings Lang. All I knew about Jennings Lang was that he had bought my script and signed the deal. What I didn't know was that Jennings was a major white shark patrolling the Hollywood waters like he owned them, which he damn near did. He had been one of the moving forces creating Universal Pictures from a powerful talent agency into a blockbuster studio. OK. Jennings Lang, 

       "Loved your script."
  
        "Thank you."

         "Great writing."

         "Thank you."

          "I'll be in New York next week. Come to the office. Call Annie to set the time."

Annie? I was soon to learn about Annie and also Sylvia, her west coast equivalent. Keepers of the Gate. Chiefs of Staff. The kinds of person you wanted on your side.  

So, the day of the meet arrives, and I show up at Universal in my blue suit, am met by Annie with a welcoming smile that suddenly made me feel important. She ushered me into Jennings' office with some flair and immediately I get my first lesson in the art of having your legs taken out from under you. 

        "I see you wore your Bar Mitzvah suit." Jennings first words.

Corporate alpha dog. Smack from the play book.

I don't remember what I said, probably, something really lame, if anything. Anyway, Jennings goes on to tell me how much he liked my work and had only a few comments which he then proceeded to lay out quite clearly. None of it seemed out of the question. All of it seemed reasonable. Jennings had been quite respectful. Had put me at ease. No more put-downs. The work was doable (My first Hollywood re-write!) Not so bad.

(As a side note: it didn't take me long to realize that when a person of some power with whom I was working told me what a beautiful writer I was, that usually meant trouble.)

When our meeting was over Jennings invited me to have lunch with him and a friend. What was I gonna say, "No, thanks. I'll just grab a slice on the way back up to my slum?" I didn't yet know about upscale restaurants, but I knew the food had to be better than the Cuban-Chinese on my corner.

It was at Le Cirque - my first high end restaurant - where I began to glimpse the tip of this man's power. One foot through the door and the maitre'd was all but on his knees. All eyes - Attention! They were even nice to me, the staff, not the maitre'd. His hands were filled with Mr. Lang.

We were led to our table already occupied by an impish fellow wearing a cardigan and kind of a crushed pork pie hat. Before we sat down, Jennings says, "Stephen Foreman, I want you to meet Billy Wilder." Billy Wilder? Billy Wilder! I hadn't been in the business long enough to know he was a Legend, capital "L", but films like "Some Like It Hot" and "Sunset Boulevard" were brilliant so I was duly impressed. As soon as I sat down,Wilder, in his mildly Austrian accent, started talking about my script. Everything Jennings had just said in our meeting, that's exactly what Wilder was saying to me right then and there: condense the first thirty pages, get the love story in sooner, integrate it with the action, not so much talk, trim here, punch up there...Other stuff, too. Nice stuff. It was astonishing. Billy Wilder! Man!

                         "I didn't know you read my script," I said.

                         "I didn't read your script," he said looking like Puck. "I've been puttin' up mit dis shit for twenty-five years."

Jennings guffawed, reared back and rolled with laughter. 

I should have quit the business right there and then.

STAY TUNED! 
TRUE HOLLYWOOD ADVENTURES - #2 – How I Parted The Red Sea 


                                                      ************
Yo! 

A note.

I’m jump-starting my blog again. I remember dreaming, decades ago, that I would one day reach a point where if I wanted to write about a blade of grass I could. A simple blade of grass and me. No razz-ma-tazz.  Am I finally there? Mostly, yes, I guess I am. Most days. Still. Miles to go…That said, I want to put out a lot of stuff on a somewhat regular basis, some short, some long, some fiction, some non-fiction, some funny, some not, some Hollywood, some not, some you might hate, some you might not. 

Another reason to jump start this thing: as I approach an age I never even fathomed, I don’t want to write anything on spec and long form ever again. Stuff like that takes too long to write, and, once it’s written, that’s only the beginning of the battle. No thanks. Life's too short. If I can avoid the bureaucracy and its ineptitude, why not? I’ve had three novels published since 2007, finished a fourth the other night, feel absolutely no compulsion to do so again. However, short pieces. Shorter pieces. Blades of grass. Whatever I want. Now, do I really want to spend days researching the proper literary journal for publication so I can wait months for an answer, and, if the answer is positive, how many readers does this journal have, and, of course, what goes without saying, for no money. Why? I can publish what I want on my blog – even pieces of some length. Dickens did. I'm not Dickens, but so what? And why not? My contact list is pretty broad and growing. You can grow it even more if you like. I’m not gonna make any money, anyway, so I might as well put my work out there at your option. Give it a whirl. Pass it on. I hope you like it – most of the time.